


Different

by agentcalliope



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 3x18 spoilers, 3x20 spoilers, Angst, Best Friends, Canon compliant as of 3x18, Daisy and Fitz scene, Daisy and Jemma, Daisy and Mack scene, Daisy begins to heal, Daisy doesn't want to hurt Jemma, Daisy loves Fitz, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Gen, He was the one person to be at her side, Help, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, I need something good, I need to believe in something good., LOVE MACKDAISY BROTP, Macks up first, Post-Canon, She loves him so much and yet, She's hurting him, Spoilers for 3x19, and that's hurting her, because, but she's not strong enough, dont worry, my beautiful brotp, my heart hurts, my other beautiful brotp, next chapters will be hurt/comfort, seriously I hate Hive so much, stop having Daisy hurt her best friends 2k16, when she thought there was something wrong with her, will tag more as I update to avoid some spoilers., you know the one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-04 04:12:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6641002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentcalliope/pseuds/agentcalliope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daisy's trying to fight it she's trying to fight the way Hive makes her feel she's trying to stop herself she's trying she's trying she's trying-</p><p>But she's just not strong enough.</p><p>(The three times Daisy encounters three best friends under Hive's influence, and the three times when she not)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm so sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Daisy's trying to fight it she's trying to fight the way Hive makes her feel and she doesn't want to but her hand is reaching out and it's forcing Fitz against the wall and it's making him claw at his neck as he struggles to breathe and Daisy's trying to fight it-
> 
> But she isn't strong enough.
> 
>  
> 
> (Daisy/Fitz confrontation in 3x18)

* * *

 

_This is all my fault… I let this happen and I’m so sorry._

 

I'm so sorry.

 

 

She's so sorry, because even though she's just down the hall and she doesn't know how or care she can hear Fitz plead with someone.

She doesn't want him to be there, because she doesn't want to hurt him.

 

"... I need your help 'cause... you're the only one who can help save my friend."

 

She's his friend.

And he's hers.

 

She's trying to tell herself that, over and over again but the need to satisfy Hive wins and-

Daisy lifts her hand, and blows in the doors.

 

She pays him no attention, taking out the unknown woman with ease and passing off the scientist to Alicia. She pays him no attention because she's hoping that Fitz won't try to stop her if she doesn't speak to him.

 

Daisy hopes, and prays, that by paying Fitz no attention he can just let her go.

 

"No. Wait."

 

Her heart starts to pound and her mind starts to race and _of course_ he can't just let her go just like that.

Of course he can't.

 

At first she can't bring herself to glance back at him, so she doesn't.

Her hand reaches out behind her and slams him against the wall and she waits until she hears the _thud_ to turn around.

 

Fitz falls to the ground in a heap and a quick gasp of pain, when words that are hers but aren't entirely _hers_ come out of her own mouth.

"We need to talk."

 

She's trying to fight it, the way she feels around Hive because a part of her knows that he's not what she needs and he's not what she wants because this is _Fitz_ and what her hands are itching to do is not what she wants them to do.

"I don't have much time."

 

Fitz picks himself off the floor, panting and shaking but he picks himself up and he tries to talk with her.

"This isn't you."

 

He's right it's not her and she's still trying to- she can't- _I don't have much time_ -

 

She just isn’t strong enough.

 

 

_This is all my fault… I let this happen and I’m so sorry._

 

I'm so sorry.

 

 

She's so sorry, but her hand still extends forward and he's forced back against the wall, gasping ,and locked into place by the energy flowing from her very core.

 

"What are you-"

 

"Stop trying to save me."

 

She flicks her hand slightly, and he freezes and his face changes.

His eyes widen with surprise, and he turns slightly red and his hands move to his collar and as he's struggling to breathe he whispers her name.

"Daisy."

 

 

He's choking.

 

And _she's_ the one choking him.

 

He's choking and she can’t breathe because _he_ can’t breathe and Daisy _just isn't strong enough_.

 

"I know what I'm saying." She finally manages to get out, her eyes starting to cloud with tears and she pretends that she's reassuring him when she's actually trying to reassure herself.

"I know what I feel."

 

He's still grasping at his throat and she's still causing it and she feels like she's being torn apart.

 

"I finally have a family Fitz you don't need to pity me anymore."

 

Daisy wonders if she's imagining the betrayal she sees in his eyes and expression, but she just isn't strong enough to forget about the other time Fitz was betrayed by someone he loved and was left fighting to breathe.

 

The difference, though, is that that was _Ward_ , and this is _her_.

 

Daisy swears that she doesn't want anything bad to happen to him but all the while he's struggling to breathe and choking and even though she says that she doesn't any _thing_ bad to happen to him she realizes that really _she's_ the one bad thing happening to him.

 

"-but you and Simmons- well, I've seen the future and someone in SHIELD is going to die."

_Going to die going to die all her fault this is all her fault-_

 

 

_This is all my fault… I let this happen and I’m so sorry._

 

I'm so sorry.

 

 

She's sorry, but she doesn't hesitate with her concluding sentence because she can be under Hive's control and still know that it's true.

"And if you love her, you will leave _us_ alone."

 

_Just let me go, Fitz._

 

"It's in your best interest... to stay away."

 

His eyes are still locked on hers and hers on his, his mouth open and trying to speak but he can't because she's _still_ choking him.

 

"We don't want to hurt you- any of you. But we will."

 

She desperately doesn't want to, but she's hurting him right now and she needs to be strong enough to just let _him_ go now.

 

"This is your last warning."

Daisy says this to Fitz, the first person to tell her it was okay to be _her_ , and she can't believe the words that come out next because she tells him that-

 

"Next time, I snap your neck."

She drops her hand and he drops to the floor and gasps and wheezes and she literally almost _killed_ him and yet he still looks up at her.

 

It's like even though she threatened him and almost killed him, he still _cares_.

 

She can't look at him anymore and she spins around and walks out and away from Fitz.

 

 

_This is all my fault… I let this happen and I’m so sorry._

_You’re right there’s something very wrong with me._

 

 

_No you’re just different now, you’re just different now and there’s nothing wrong with that._

 

 

 

I’m so sorry.

 

 

 

 


	2. Nothing I could've done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy's already hurt one best friend and now Hive's watching her with knowing eyes and Jemma's watching her with fearful eyes and she's still trying to fight it but she can't-
> 
> Daisy's already hurt one best friend, and now she's going to have to hurt another.

* * *

 

 

_...there was nothing you could've done._

 

Nothing I could've done.

 

There's nothing she could've done, when she had flung Fitz against the wall and threatened to snap his neck next time.

She's just not strong enough, and she accepts this as much as she accepts that she's a _monster_.

 

Yet, Daisy still sees him when she closes her eyes at night; the way he struggled to breathe as _she_ choked him, the way his eyes held nothing but love when he gasped for air lying on the floor.

The way his voice, croaking her name, vanished as she tightened her invisible grip.

 

She still wakes up in tears, fighting for breath like Fitz, like she had made him struggle for oxygen.

 

Daisy might wake up in tears, but she wipes them away because she can never let Hive see them because he can't know how much her encounter with Fitz still resonates within her very soul and he just can't know-

 

He can't know, because he might make her do it _again_.

 

And Daisy can't begin dreaming about someone else, too.

 

Except now, Daisy understands that she doesn't have a choice in the matter. Because now she's standing in a light-less space by his side, her heart thumping inside her chest. The chillness of the air clings to her skin, and she's frozen in place staring into familiar honey brown eyes wide with fear.

She doesn't want to hurt Jemma.

But if Hive asks her to, if he wills it to be, then Daisy will.

 

She tries to fight it, but she's still just not strong enough.

 

Somewhere, water drips onto the floor and breaks the silence enfolding them with a _drip, drip,_   _drip._ The white walls of the abandoned hospital are coated with grime and dirt, and Daisy wonders why Jemma would be in such a disgusting place like this, all alone.

 

Especially when she must know that they would come.

 

She watches as Jemma tries in vain to hide the vials of liquid behind her back, and she realizes that must be what they need, what they need to implement the Cause.

 

Hive _needs_ those flasks, and Jemma has them.

And he's going to make Daisy take them from her.

 

 

_...there was nothing you could've done._

 

Nothing I could've done.

 

There's nothing she could've done because when she begins to move towards Jemma, Hive places his hand on her shoulder and she halts, feeling the desire to obey him increase. She gulps, and suddenly feels her throat begin to close up and her eyes began to tear.

 

She knows what he wants.

She knows that she'll give him what he wants.

She knows that she doesn't want it.

 

Because Daisy's already hurt one best friend, and even though she's still trying to fight it, she can't-  
  
And now, she's going to have to hurt another.

 

Hive smiles at Jemma, and cocks his head to the side.

"Now where _is_ everyone, Jemma? Especially Fitz- I would've thought you two would be inseparable by now."

 

Jemma keeps her gaze steady, and no matter how much Hive controls her Daisy feels a rush of affection towards the small scientist who stands her ground against two dangerous Inhumans.

 

One a friend, the other once a friend.

 

Daisy feels a rush of guilt.

 

Jemma opens her mouth to reply when Hive cuts her off with a flick of his hand and interrupts.

"Actually, I don't really care why they aren't here. Daisy."

 

She feels herself begin to move.

 

Jemma's eyes widen and she moves to step away but the wall blocks her escape.

 

"Daisy."

 

Jemma's voice croaks as she says her name, and she starts to tremble and her eyes well with tears until the proverbial dam breaks and she starts to cry.

 

Daisy begins to cry, too.

 

But she's just not strong enough, and she still reaches Jemma and she extends her palm upwards and speaks quietly.

 "Jemma, give us the vials."

 

 

"No. No I won't let you take it," Jemma gasps and tightens her grip on the bottles.

 

 _Jemma please please Jemma I don't want anything bad_ _to happen to you too._

 

Daisy tries to blink through the tears, but she just isn't strong enough and she speaks again.

"Jemma we need it."

 

Jemma shakes her head furiously, hiccuping and pleading as tears stream down her cheeks. "No Daisy, you don't. You don't need it _It_ needs it but not you. You know what I need, Daisy? _I_ need you. _Fitz_ and I need you. _Mack_ needs you _Coulson_ needs you _May_ needs you _Lincoln_ needs you- _we_ need you back Daisy." Jemma's sobs echo and lodge into Daisy's mind, and she knows that they'll etch themselves into her memories.

There's no doubt that she'll dream about this too.

 

_... there was nothing you could've done._

 

There was nothing I could've done.

 

There was nothing she could've done because Hive must've sense her inner battle, and with a soft firm tone orders her _to bring the vials to him._

 

In a parallel moment Daisy never wished for, she raises her other hand and does the _exact_ same thing she did to Fitz.

 

_This is all my fault... I let this happen and I'm so sorry._

I'm so sorry.

 

Jemma struggles to breathe as Daisy steps forward, reaches behind Jemma's back and rips the three small vials out of her weakening grasp.

 

As she withdraws away, she catches Jemma's eye and the pain and hurt and love that swirls within them, just as Fitz's had, makes Daisy's outstretched hand begin to tremble.

 

Daisy doesn't look away when she calls out to Hive, although her voice cracks with emotion.

"Got them," she pauses, and somehow finds the strength to ask-

"Can I stop?"

 

Jemma's now clawing at her throat and Daisy's fighting through shaky breathes and she can't breathe she can't wait for Hive's decision Jemma can't wait Jemma can't breathe-

 

"Yes."

 

Immediately Daisy drops her hand, and Jemma falls to the ground on her hands and knees, sputtering and gasping.

 

Daisy turns back to face Hive, who smiles at her and beckons her towards him.

"Come now, Daisy. There is still much work to be done."

 

She's too afraid to ask about Jemma, because she senses that he means to leave her, and Daisy doesn't want to question it or wonder why he's letting Jemma live now because then he might change his mind.

 

They leave, and Daisy doesn't have to look back or strain to hear to know that Jemma's still on the floor, crying and whispering her name.

 

That night, Daisy dreams of two.

  

_There was nothing you could've done._  

 

_Yes, there was!_

 

 

Nothing I could've done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to tanziheerahbar for giving me the idea of making this a multi-chapter fic!


	3. I'm your partner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy's already hurt two best friends, and she doesn't know what to do if she has to hurt another.
> 
> But Mack shows up when she's talking to Dr. Radcliffe and she desperately wants him to leave because she's hurt two best friends and if he stays-
> 
> she's going to have to hurt her partner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow so I was going to make up a Mack/Daisy confrontation but LUCKY US canon gave it to us (still crying about it)

* * *

 

_Okay, but one thing- I’m staying with you… I’m your partner._

 

I’m your partner.

 

 

She’s his partner, and Fitz and Jemma were her best friends but that didn’t stop her from hurting them and when she hears his voice, interrupting Dr. Radcliffe, Daisy has to catch her breath.

She has to get him to leave.

 

“- She’s coming with me,” Mack rumbles, standing at the threshold of the warehouse, and Daisy wants nothing more than to run into his arms and feel safe and loved-

But she’s still just not strong enough, and Hive still clouds her mind with thoughts.

 

“I told Fitz to say away,” Daisy replies, as if she had only told Fitz to say away and hadn’t forced him to struggle for air and threatened to kill him.

She desperately wants Mack to not make the same damn mistake Fitz made, and _just let her go_.

 

Mack doesn’t budge, and he doesn’t hesitate.

“No can do. Not when my partner needs help.”

 

Daisy wants to scream and yell and do anything to make him see that if he tries to help her, she’ll just hurt him. That he'll end up choking on the ground like Fitz and Jemma.

But instead, she just bites back.

“I don’t need your help.”

 

“There’s plenty of evidence here to the contrary.”

 

Her inner voice begs to be heard.

_Let me go just let me go you don’t understand please Mack._

“You don’t understand. I’m doing this to help _you_ ,” she says and steps towards him and she means what Hive means but she also means what _she_ means-

_You have to leave. You have to let me go._

_I don’t want to hurt you_ too _._

**_I’m doing this to help you._ **

He doesn’t see the hidden message within her words, and her trepidation grows as he responds, his voice soft and steady.

“And how is murdering a blue alien gonna help me?”

 

Daisy’s tries to break free but Hive’s influence still floods her senses and her words before she can change her thoughts. “It’s the only way to save you… we’re gonna make you into an inhuman.”

 

Mack stares at her with a face she remembers all too well, and will never forget.

“This isn’t you.”

Daisy can’t breathe because the last time someone told her that this wasn’t her was the one person who accepted her before anyone else and she had left him breathless and choking on the floor only days ago.

Fitz was _right_ , and Mack is right and she's still trying to- she can't- _trying to save you_ -

 

She just isn’t strong enough.

 

 

_Okay, but one thing- I’m staying with you… I’m your partner._

 

I’m your partner.

 

 

She’s his partner and she knows Mack and she knows that she has to try harder to get him to leave. “I know this is hard for you to hear, but this is me,” the words spill from her mouth, “I’m not lost anymore everyone at SHIELD can finally stop trying to save me.”

 

_Stop trying to save me._

(she told Fitz that, too.)

 

This is different,” Mack tries to argue but Daisy can’t resist the thoughts that she knows are hers mingled with thoughts she knows are Hive’s and she doesn’t even skip a beat before she answers him.

“Is it? I mean, first, SHIELD rescues me from the Rising Tide, and then from my admittedly no-so-great parents, and now, once again, SHIELD’s rallied the troops to save poor Daisy.”

 

He inches closer to her, and she pretends that she doesn’t notice.

“Because you’re sick. That… thing is a parasite it’s messing with your head.”

 

 

She doesn’t let the reality of his words break the reality of hers.

“That’s what SHIELD’s been doing. Look at us, Mack! You were a mechanic, I was a hacker, and now s-somehow we’re soldiers?”

 

Mack looks at her with empathy and compassion and she can’t possibly bury all the guilt and hopeless she feels away.

“The worlds changing. We had to adapt.”

 

Daisy’s frantic and there’s no doubt that it musters her way into her voice and features.

“We had no choice. SHIELD made us into what it needed.”

 

“No. Nobody at SHIELD made you do anything.”

 

“But Coulson knew I was lost, so he’d offered up his team of misfit toys just to fill that emptiness,” Daisy concludes, the lump in her throat increasing with every breath.

 

 _I finally have a family you don’t need to pity me anymore don’t need to pity me anymore I finally have a family_ Fitz _you don’t need to pity me anymore._

 

Mack steps even closer, and she lets him.

“That team cares about you. _I_ care about you.”

She cares about him too, and that’s why he _has to leave why won’t he leave why can’t he leave_.

 

“What’s that make us- friends?”

 

“Friends. Partners,” Mack settles.

Partners.

 

 

_Okay, but one thing- I’m staying with you… I’m your partner._

 

I’m your partner.

 

 

Daisy’s his partner, and she realizes in order to save him she has to _break_ him first.

“Bobbi was your partner once. How’d that work out for you?”

 

The pain in his eyes is clear from the distance between them, but it hits her like a gust of wind and she forces herself to remain still.

“You know damn well Bobbi and Hunter left SHIELD to protect us.”

 

 _They left SHIELD to protect us they left to protect us why can’t you see that I’m trying to get you to leave so_ I _can protect_ you _._

“They left SHIELD because there was no reason to stay,” Daisy lies and for a moment she fools herself, “because nobody else at SHIELD mattered to them. It wasn’t hard to leave.”

 

She doesn’t lie when she says “but I think you should leave here, right now.”

 

And Mack sees right through her, and he unbuckles his gun from his gear and places it to the side, standing now in front of her defenseless.

He walks towards her, everything to lose and everything to gain and she is being torn apart from the inside.

“Part of you wants to come back. That’s how we found you.”

 

She knows he’s right because she knows him as well as he knows her and she’s still trying to fight it she is she is trying so hard-

“What are you talking about?”

 

He tells her what she already knows, but doesn’t want to trust.

“A few hours ago, we received security footage of you outside this garage. It sent a red flag up our system, the same system you helped create.”

 

So, she’s not fooling herself:

She _is_ trying to fight it.

 

She just isn’t strong enough yet.

 

“So what- you think that I meant for this to happen?”

 

Mack again comes closer and _why is he coming close when all she wants is for him to_ go away.

“It wasn’t an accident. Something inside you is resisting.”

 

There is, but its buried underneath the waves of Hive’s thoughts and it barely has a pulse and nothing she does saves it.

“I slipped up because I wasn’t thinking like a spy anymore, because I don’t need to be a SHIELD agent anymore.”

 

“Tremors-“

It’s with the mention of that name, dredging up memories of laughter and missions and _love_ that even though she meant to break him she’s the one to break first.

 

“No, no Mack. I _cared_ about you, too. After what happened with my parents, I needed someone and you- you were _almost_ like a big brother to me. But let’s be honest- you struggle to be a real brother to the one that you have.”

 

She’s broken but she needs to make sure that he breaks too.

She tells herself it’s to save him.

 

She’s not entirely wrong.

 

Mack grits his teeth, and his distress radiates in the air. “Leave Ruben out of this.”

 

“I understand how you’re feeling,” she tells him and then scoffs. “But you don’t need to feel alone anymore. We can fix it.”

 

_We can fix it, but you have to leave._

 

“Now, what you’re feeling- it’s not real,” Mack echoes the truth that she can sense deep within her core but can’t escape.

Her mind says Hive but her heart says Partner and how could what she’s feeling not be real as she feels it struggle and fight and tear her apart?

“What we feel is reality. It’s the way the world was meant to be.”

 

“Not my world.”

 

Her eyes begin to tear and her heart pounds in her chest and she can’t breathe- she doesn’t want to give up, because he’s not giving up on her and Fitz didn’t give up on her and Jemma didn’t give up on her-

But she’s just not strong enough.

 

“I really wanted to save you, Mack.”

 

And she really did.

 

“Yeah,” he nods his head and looks at the ground before glancing back up at her. “Me, too.”

 

Before she knows it, he throws a Splinter bomb at the Kree's body, and within seconds the thing that Hive _needs_ has disintegrated into ash.

She turns her tear-stricken eyes away from the sight to Mack, who  looks at her also with eyes welling with tears, answering grimly to her unspoken question.

“If I can’t save you, I guess Ill save everyone else.”

 

She immediately extends her hand and he flies backwards into the street, hitting the ground with a groan.

She walks towards him, her heartbeat loud in her ears.

 

 

_Okay, but one thing- I’m staying with you… I’m your partner._

 

I’m your partner.

 

 

Daisy’s his partner and once he had told her to leave and she didn’t listen and she stayed and now she told him to leave and he didn’t listen and he stayed.

“ _YOU SHOULD’VE STAYED AWAY_ ”, Daisy screams.

 

He picks himself off the asphalt gingerly and whispers as he reaches for her arm.

“wait…”

She forces his hand away, hearing the creaking of his bones as she blasts them.

 

He looks at her and pleads. “Please. Daisy. I’m not gonna fight you.”

She doesn’t want to fight him, but she’s going to.

 

Daisy grunts as she jabs and throws her fists onto his body and with a final kick he falls onto his back.

 

And then, when he’s still on the ground, she punches him again.

_I didn’t want this I don’t want this I wanted you to stay away._

She forces his arm onto the pavement, and when he raises his other arm she knocks it aside and forces that one down too.

 

She can’t breathe from the guilt and the pain and the fight with him and her inner fight with Hive when she finally musters words to say.

“I wanted you to be a part of this.”

With all her strength she delivers a blow to his chest, and then to his face and she does her best to ignore how he shouts with pain when she does it again and again and _again._

 

(She already knows she’s going to dream about him too)

 

He lies there, finally broken and she wonders if her earlier words broke him as much as her fists.

“We could have had a connection that was _real_.”

 

“Daisy, look at yourself. You don’t have to do this,” Mack utters as he struggles to breathe as blood coats his face and-

 

Words swim around in her mind.

 

_This is all my fault… I let this happen and I’m so sorry._

I'm so sorry.

 

_...there was nothing you could've done._

Nothing I could've done.

 

She forces them away, and places her hand on his chest because Mack’s finally wrong and she _has_ to do this.

She doesn’t hold back, and he screams as his bones crack under the pressure.

She can’t stop and she's sure she's going to kill him until a bullet tears through her arm, and she’s knocked away.

 

She's been shot, but she's glad she was.

 

_Okay, but one thing- I’m staying with you… I’m your partner._

 

He doesn’t need to answer back, because there’s no questioning it.

 

I’m your partner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so with this now it means that only Jemma's confrontation is not canon, as will the other chapters when Daisy (un-hived) talks with them.


	4. That wasn't you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy's tried to fight Hive she's tried and tried and tried-  
> and now she's finally free.
> 
> Maybe now she can begin to heal.

* * *

 

 

If she wasn’t so sure her name was Daisy, she would’ve thought she was back in quarantine: shaken by Trip’s death, her abilities, and the fate of the family she had finally gained.

 

The latter part is still true, in this case anyway- because she’s lying on a cot in the medical secured room, watching people bustle around her through the transparent screen and she supposes that that’s really the only reason why she knows the world outside of her glass box hasn’t stopped spinning.

The world hasn’t stopped spinning and her head hasn’t stopped spinning since she came _home_ , since Lash saved her.

 

Since _Andrew_ cured her.

 

Since Andrew died.

 

(Daisy dreams of four people now)

 

She can’t deny that she didn’t hear him approach, because although he doesn’t speak or make any indication that he’s standing and waiting, she knows the sound of her partner’s footsteps.

She knows the sound of his bones breaking, too.

 

“Tremors,” His voice is low and soft, patient and kind and full of comfort and love and all the things Daisy knows she doesn’t deserve-

After all, the last time she heard that name and that voice was when she had been trying to fight Hive, trying to fight his control but she not being strong enough.

 

She wishes she was strong enough to face Mack now, but she ignores him; blinking back tears and continuing to staring at the ceiling hoping that the ground would just swallow her whole.

 

“Daisy,” Mack sighs, “I know you can hear me.”

 

Her breath catches in her throat and she’s unable to stop the torrent of emotions and horror that consume her, and she sniffles as she turns over slowly and faces him.

The last time, she had left him broken and bloodied on the ground, and the only thing that had saved him from death at her own hands had been May.

 

This time, she wishes May had shot her in the heart.

 

He does look better, but evidence of her fists and abilities have left marks on his face, and from the way he holds a pack to his ribs she knows that more lies beneath his shirt and beneath the surface.

 

(the worst wounds are the ones that hide)

 

“Yeah?” she musters a croak, focusing on a small cut on his cheekbone rather than looking him in the eyes because she still just isn’t strong enough.

 

“I’m glad you’re home.”

 

It takes a while for her to process his choice of words, wondering how could he still _love_ her and be pleased she’s back when she had- she almost- she would’ve-

Daisy might’ve not been in total control of her actions, but they were still her actions.

And her actions had meant for Mack to die.

 

She doesn’t deserve his kindness.

 

Her eyes meet his and it’s as if her very thoughts had become expressed words because Mack shakes his head and contorts his features into determination and sets his pointer finger on the glass directed towards her..

“Now listen here: What happened to me, to Jemma, to Fitz and everyone else- that wasn’t your fault. I know you, Daisy, and you’re my partner. That wasn’t _you_.”

 

That wasn’t you.

That isn’t you.

This isn’t you.

 

 

_This isn’t you._

 

_I know this is hard for you to hear, but this is me. I’m not lost anymore. Everyone at SHIELD can finally stop trying to save me._

 

And yet, here he is; eyes burning into the depths of her fractured soul, telling her that even though her fists had pummeled him and her power had damaged him and her words had broken him she was _forgiven_.

 

Daisy sucks in a trembling breath and nods, hesitating as she fumbles for a way she could possibly respond.

“Mack, what I said- about Bobbi and Hunter, and Reuben and-”

 

“I tell you what,” Mack interrupts, plastering a soft smile on his face. “When you get out of quarantine, we can talk all about it when I kick your ass in Xbox.” He doesn’t present it as a question but as a definitive statement, and she realizes that it’s not up for debate.

 

Daisy wipes away the tears that had fallen onto her cheeks and chuckles delicately.

“I would like that.”

 

And she means it.

 

(she still dreams of four, but it’s a little easier to get through the night)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this fic is a mix of both canon and non-canon events hope that's okay and let me know what you think!


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